chanyeol/sehun, pg-13, general
they're bros who maybe take each other up the ass sometimes, and maybe sehun has a tiny bit of a crush on chanyeol, but no one needs details. they're bros.
huge thanks to potaoto for the superhero work on this, this is for her ♥
Past midnight on a Wednesday, the night before a Orgo quiz, and Sehun’s naked on Chanyeol’s bed, one of his arms crushed under Chanyeol, wiping come off his stomach. It’s the second time this week. Chanyeol watches him and grins as he smears a spot that Sehun missed over his tummy. Sehun frowns and chucks the used tissue at Chanyeol’s face, and Chanyeol wrinkles his nose and rolls onto his side to face Sehun.
“You wanna stay, or should I go shower now?” Chanyeol asks, his words muffled in Sehun’s shoulder. Sehun checks his phone for the time. 1 AM.
“I have a quiz tomorrow,” he says, reaching for the covers with his toes because it’s a little chilly. Chanyeol hums noncommittally, clearly still basking in post-coital bliss.
“That time we fell asleep at like, 5 AM you passed that quiz anyway,” Chanyeol mutters. Sehun rolls his eyes.
“Go away, fatass,” Sehun tells him and rolls out of bed to pull his boxers on. He pretends the little whine Chanyeol makes when Sehun yanks himself out underneath him doesn’t make him want to crawl back into bed with him and tugs his clothes on, Chanyeol watching him with something in between a pleading look and a leer.
“Tomorrow, loser,” Sehun says, and leaves before Chanyeol pulls the big guns out. It’s not like he was really going home to study or anything, but he was flunking out of that Orgo class and having a good sleep would be probably less damaging to his already inevitably poor score. There was also something about waking up with Chanyeol’s arms wrapped around him that Sehun didn’t exactly like - Chanyeol hadn’t talked about putting any label on their thing, so Sehun assumed they were friends with benefits, and waking up next to Chanyeol with crap in his eyes is a kind of intimate Sehun doesn’t want to reconcile with that. Most of what they did were the same things Sehun did with Jongin or Zitao anyway, other than the part where he took Chanyeol up the ass regularly. Not that Sehun has any problem with that, save for a tiny detail.
Which is that Sehun’s had a crush on Chanyeol for the longest time ever, ever since they’d only just been friends and Chanyeol had smiled and brofist’ed his way right into Sehun’s ridiculously easy heart, but this is merely a tiny detail. Nothing to get his pretty little head all bothered about.
But guess who doesn’t manage to get any sleep that night.
“How was your quiz,” Chanyeol says as he just about slams his arm into the back of Sehun’s shoulders and neck when he goes up to Sehun’s table, making Sehun spray tuna mayo all over Jongin’s ddeok. He jabs Chanyeol in the side with his elbow and Jongin directs the most disgusted look in Sehun’s direction as Chanyeol retaliates with a fake punch to Sehun’s shoulder, but there’s no heat in it. Sehun rolls his eyes.
“Was shit,” Sehun says around a mouthful of sandwich. “No thanks to you last night.”
“Ew,” Jongin cuts over the start of Chanyeol’s smug grin. “I’m eating.”
Sehun kicks Jongin under the table. “I didn’t even say anything.”
“Glad to boost your GPA,” Chanyeol grins and ruffles Sehun’s hair. “Later, gotta run now. Bye, loser,” he says to Jongin and heads out. Sehun thinks there’s something about the back view of Chanyeol that screams Douche Extraordinaire.
“Asshole,” Jongin voices as much. “How can you stand fucking him? Why are you guys dating, anyway.”
“We’re not dating,” Sehun mumbles into his food. “I told you. We’re just friends.”
“Okay,” Jongin says. “Friends who fuck each other into the mattress every other night. Kris said he heard you guys through the door once when he wanted to borrow notes from Chanyeol.”
“Shut the fuck up.” Sehun kicks Jongin again. “Anyway, you’re friends with him, too.”
“Yeah, but there’s a difference between downing shots with him and downing his dick.......”
Sehun makes sure to kick hard enough to bruise this time.
It’s not that Sehun is whipped or anything, but the sex is pretty good, and Chanyeol really is a good friend, he rationalizes later, when Chanyeol’s throwing a bag of chips at him as he toes his shoes off at Sehun’s door and barrels straight for Sehun’s bed - Chanyeol understands him, even down to the little things like knowing somehow that Sehun’s been craving chips for the entire afternoon, but also things like pulling him in with a one-armed hug and shutting up when Sehun’s feeling shitty because he knows Sehun thinks his constant chatter is kind of annoying.
Their banter is easy and comfortable and Sehun never has to worry about awkward silences he is wont to get with regular people, and he knows he can count on Chanyeol to come running with a call. It’s just sometimes, when they’re sitting on Sehun’s bed watching a movie and Sehun is watching Chanyeol laugh, that he wants them to be something more, something special, something that means something to Chanyeol, like it does to Sehun. Sehun isn’t even sure where Chanyeol stands on their thing, to be honest - they’d never talked about it, but he’s pretty sure Chanyeol doesn’t spend hours dissecting his feelings for Sehun, unlike what Sehun has been doing especially recently, and that’s got to mean something.
“Did you shower,” Sehun wrinkles his nose as Chanyeol makes himself a burrito in his sheets, then rolls out. Chanyeol has jam sessions with his band on Thursdays, as Sehun knows all too well, having been dragged to these sessions too often to provide his opinion on their performances, despite the fact that Sehun only listens to electropop and house, and Chanyeol is a sweaty motherfucker. Chanyeol grins at him.
“Nah.” Chanyeol wiggles his toes. “I know how much you like it when I smell sweaty.”
Sehun tries aiming his text book at Chanyeol’s head, but it falls short and lands on Chanyeol’s legs instead, so he pretends to have been aiming for that anyway.
“Hey, come here,” Chanyeol pats a spot on the bed next to him. Sehun glances at him and returns his attention to the laptop.
“No really, come here. I have something to tell you.”
“No.” Sehun tries not to look at Chanyeol and not to let his expression change, because it’s probably something really stupid, and he’s sick of getting his hopes up at the tiniest things. He sees Chanyeol scrunch his mouth up from the corner of his eye.
The next thing he knows, though, after turning back to focus on his laptop, Chanyeol has his neck in a headlock and a hand on the side of his head, leaning over his shoulder from behind to whisper a song in his ear. Sehun curls up instinctively because he’s ticklish, and he can’t make the words out, but Chanyeol’s lips are grazing his ear and his heart is beating a little faster than necessary.
And then Chanyeol’s pulling away, laughing and pushing Sehun away into his desk before jumping onto Sehun’s bed again. Sehun glares at Chanyeol and ignores his heart at the back of his throat - they’d been in situations a million times more inappropriate than this, but that doesn’t change the fact that his heart seems to think this is a different kind of intimate.
“What the fuck.”
Chanyeol’s still laughing. “I tried it on Baekhyun today and it was hilarious, he nearly exploded, he was so tickled.”
This is merely a drill; a social experiment. Shut the fuck up, Sehun. Sehun throws the packet of chips in Chanyeol’s face - it hits right on target this time (Jongin had always said not to mess with Sehun when he’s mad).
“Only weirdos get satisfaction out of tickling people.” Sehun rolls his eyes.
“No, fun people.” Chanyeol frowns. “What’s up with you today?”
“Nothing,” Sehun says, “how was jamming?”
Chanyeol watches him for a bit, silent, then blinks and looks out of the window. Sehun knows him well enough to know that he knows something’s off with Sehun, but won’t press it right now. It’s one of the things he likes best about Chanyeol, actually.
“Was cool, I guess. Shredded the fretboard,” Chanyeol deadpans like he’s talking about the weather, so Sehun makes sure to roll his eyes as clearly as he can.
“Brat.” Chanyeol gets up to manhandle Sehun out of his chair and on the bed. “You wanna chill out? I downloaded Looper yesterday, you missed it in the cinema, right?”
"Yeah," Sehun relents after a while, and lets himself settle in beside Chanyeol to watch the movie. He doesn't move when Chanyeol plants his face in Sehun's shoulder to rest his eyes a little and is a little annoyed at himself when he reflexively holds his shoulder stiff for Chanyeol's head throughout the movie.
“We’re gonna cream you,” Chanyeol nearly slams into Sehun’s side as he charges towards the basketball hoop and hooks a pass over to Kris, who lands the ball nicely with a swoosh of the net. They high-five obnoxiously as Sehun frowns and pushes Jongin.
“Why weren’t you doing anything,” Sehun says to Jongin, miffed, because Jongin had been on his high school basketball team but he clearly sucked.
“Why weren’t you, asshole,” Jongin yells behind his shoulder and goes to retrieve the ball.
Late night basketball is only fun when Sehun’s team is winning, he realises when Kris and Chanyeol are up seven points and Jongin throws his hands up in surrender as Chanyeol lands his third three-pointer of the day.
“You are so fucking shit at this,” Jongin informs Sehun with a disgusted look as they collapse onto the stone steps next to the courts, Sehun jerking his opened water bottle at Jongin so he gets a faceful of water. Jongin goes the whole hog and makes to dump his entire water bottle on Sehun’s head, which gets both of them spluttering and drenched but laughing anyway.
“It’s okay, shorties have a natural disadvantage at basketball,” Kris remarks as he stretches his legs out in front of him. Jongin kicks his shoe off at Kris’ stomach and Sehun just flips him the bird, but they’re all cracking up.
It’s only when Sehun’s catching his breath from laughing that he catches Chanyeol watching him with a bit of a dopey smile on his face, then darting his eyes hurriedly away when he blinks and makes eye contact with Sehun. Sehun watches him look at Jongin, who’d obviously seen Chanyeol watching Sehun, too - Chanyeol puts a hasty grin on his face and grabs Kris’ water bottle to gulp some water down. It’s strange because Chanyeol is never like this when they’re alone, but soon he’s punching Kris and throwing the ball in Sehun’s face and Sehun decides it’s probably a trick of the night.
Sehun hates this party. Lu Han had volunteered his swanky apartment to be ravaged in honour of end of midterms, but aside from Chanyeol, Jongin, Baekhyun and Lu Han, he knows no one else, and four out of four of those people are too smashed beyond coherency to hang out with him. He’s designated driver for the college dorm people too, so sucks to be him, really.
"Sehunnie," Jongin slurs and pitches himself into Sehun's lap in complete inebriation. "Sehun, Sehun. I think I saw Kyungsoo." Sehun snorts - as if Jongin would ever have the balls to ask the short, kind of cute guy in his Polisci class out even if he was here.
"You didn't, and if you puke on my lap....." Sehun pushes Jongin's face away disgustedly.
"No, really, he's there......" Jongin approximates a pointed finger in the general direction of the kitchen, but gives up and flops back onto Sehun.
"He doesn't even know Lu Han, shut up." Sehun's trying to locate Chanyeol so he can get all of them back into the car and back to the dorms, but he can't see him, nor Baekhyun, in the living room.
"Sehunnnnnnnn. He's really cute." Jongin's practically breathing alcohol mist down his neck. Gross.
"I will leave you here, naked, in Lu Han hyung's house, and you're going to hate your life when you check Facebook tomorrow," Sehun warns. "Douse your burning loins, I'm going to get Baekhyun and Chanyeol and we can go home and you can romp with Kyungsoo in your dreams."
Jongin swipes vaguely as Sehun at he stands up, but slides back down on the couch. Sehun rolls his eyes and slides past Lu Han flirting with someone he doesn't recognize to head deeper in the house. No sign of either Chanyeol or Baekhyun.
Sehun takes a wrong turn and pushes open the ajar door he'd thought would lead into a room but is the toilet instead, and he wishes he'd been smashed, too, fuck being designated driver or not leaving Jongin to have the most embarrassing photo op of his life plastered over Facebook by Lu Han, because Chanyeol is pressed up against Baekhyun against the wall, his mouth on Baekhyun's, Baekhyun's jeans open and Chanyeol's hands down his underwear.
Neither of them register Sehun; he ducks aside away out of sight back into the corridor, stunned but somehow not at all surprised, like he'd known Chanyeol had been fucking around with other people too, just refused to acknowledge it at the front of his mind. It wouldn't have been a stretch, and, technically, Chanyeol doesn't owe him anything, not fidelity or explanation or disclosure, but it still sucks. It's more of a quiet revelation, proof in his face of what he'd known all along, but it's more troubling than he'd expected, or would like to admit.
Jongin's still slumped in the couch when Sehun makes it back to him. Pulling him up and propping him over his shoulder, Sehun drags Jongin towards the door. Jongin makes a little noise of surprise.
"Kyungsoo," Jongin mumbles. Sehun almost wants to laugh at how pathetic both of them are being right now.
"You should just talk to him," Sehun says, practically dragging Jongin to his car. "Maybe he likes losers."
Good advice he probably should have listened to much earlier into everything because it might have saved him all this shit now, but then again Sehun's never been very good at protecting himself.
"Thanks for last night," Jongin says when he slaps Sehun on the back as he comes up to Sehun in the library cafe queue.
Sehun glances at him. "You owe me on so many levels. One of which is the fact that I had to listen to your sappy confession to your crush."
Jongin punches him hard in the shoulder because Kris comes up to them and hears everything and is now laughing really loudly in some kind of grizzly bear imitation. He glares at Kris and kicks his calves too, for good measure.
"He wasn't even there," Jongin hisses at Sehun. "......right?"
"No." Sehun rolls his eyes.
"Damn, I should've gone," Kris laughs, wiping his eyes. "I knew I missed out when Chanyeol and Baekhyun showed up outside my door completely pissed, Baekhyun had his jeans open, man."
Sehun clams up immediately and turns to the counter, because he would have been 200 times better off without that reminder. Jongin glances at him.
"S'up." He nudges Sehun.
"Did you walk in on them fucking or something," Jongin jokes and pokes him in the side. Sehun has to clench his jaw not to let his expression become more pinched, because he knows he’s being ridiculous - Chanyeol’s not exactly exclusively his boyfriend or anything, but that doesn’t stop the horrible feeling he gets in his chest when he thinks about it.
"Yeah," he mumbles, and Jongin's mouth falls open a little in shock.
"..........Shit, man," Kris says, his gums showing in a rather dumb-looking face, clearly upset and disappointed, though for reasons completely different from Sehun's. Kris' crush on Baekhyun might rank second only to Jongin's on Kyungsoo, even though Kris' entire life is No Game Ever.
"Shit, I'm sorry, I thought - I was kidding." Jongin touches Sehun's elbow and he shrugs away, sucking in the inside of his lip annoyed.
"S'ok," Sehun mumbles, turning to order. They get their food and carry their trays over to a table in silence, Jongin watching Sehun warily.
"Hey," Jongin says quietly, chucking a plastic fork onto Sehun's pasta plate. "You should talk to him."
Sehun pulls his mouth tight and wrenches the cap of his Sprite open. "Maybe."
"I'm sure they didn't really mean it." Jongin glances at Sehun, then at Kris, clearly unsure how to handle two fractured hearts. "They were smashed, right?"
"Yeah," Kris sighs, but tucks in slightly cheered up. Sehun doesn't really taste his pasta. Maybe he should listen to Jongin this time.
“Hey,” Chanyeol says when they’re in Sehun’s room that night, Jongin’s advice still in his mind. “Why are you so quiet today?”
Sehun snaps to attention, not realising he’d zoned out for a good fifteen minutes, maybe, and he’d been typing loljdfwozifzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
“Nothing.” Sehun shakes his head and blinks a little to regain focus, deleting the crap he’d typed inadvertently. Chanyeol’s good traits, like his being observant, are always faults when Sehun least wants them to be. He pretends to just have been daydreaming and focuses on his laptop.
“Something’s wrong,” Chanyeol pokes at his cheek. “You’re so grumpy today.”
“That’s just my face,” Sehun says and tries to push Jongin’s words out of his mind - not right now. “Fuck you.”
“If you want,” Chanyeol grins looking like he needs a punch. Sehun kicks him in the calf.
“Ow,” Chanyeol approximates his hurt puppy expression, the one he uses on Kris to get him to buy a round. Sehun hates that face, if only because he always wants to kiss it, even though he knows Chanyeol uses it to get something out of someone else. He rolls his eyes and turns to his laptop, determined not to look at Chanyeol out of the corner of his eye.
“Hey, you should check out my rap skills,” Chanyeol says, “Kris says I’m good.” He proceeds to launch into a dreadful rendition of Lil Wayne with mangled English and Sehun’s no expert at English himself, but damn, that’s gotta be bad. The ridiculousness of it all coaxes a reluctant smile out of Sehun - he’s feeling nothing close to joy, but there’s that smile tugging on the corner of his mouth, the one he has when he’s around Chanyeol.
“The fact that Kris told you that should have been a clear wake-up call.” Sehun bites the inside of his lip and rolls his eyes, glancing at Chanyeol’s stupid dumb face out of the corner of his eye, then down at his table. Chanyeol grins, a hearty bellowing laugh that rings inside Sehun’s ears, and hooks his arm around Sehun’s neck to press his lips on that weak corner of his mouth.
Sehun’s ears are still ringing like he’s in a vacuum. He can’t breathe. Chanyeol’s still laughing and Sehun feels Chanyeol’s hand ruffle the back of his hair.
“What,” Sehun’s voice nearly cracks.
“Nothing, you looked cute like that,” Chanyeol says by way of explanation, grinning at him. Sehun turns back to his laptop, heart thundering in his chest, and the thing that keeps him up awake that night is the knowledge that Chanyeol didn’t mean anything by that kiss, not like how Sehun would have meant it, and he kissed Sehun because all of the dumb reasons in the world but not because Sehun was Sehun.
It’s an incredibly mundane Monday, an incredibly mundane evening, an incredibly mundane session of Mario Kart when Sehun looks over at Chanyeol trying to maneuver Luigi and swearing at the screen and decides that he’s sick of pretending that he’s okay with this.
“Hey,” Sehun says suddenly, cutting over Chanyeol’s string of curses. Chanyeol only tears his eyes away from the screen after a beat to look at him.
“I think we should stop this.” He almost has to force the words out of his throat; they leave a bitter taste in his mouth, like lemon peel.
“Playing? Okay.” Chanyeol drops the controller with some bewilderment and holds his palms up, a surrender. Sehun looks at him.
“I mean the, you know. Fucking thing.”
Chanyeol stares at him and he doesn’t speak for a very long time. The silence is painful in Sehun’s ears. He almost wishes he could take his words back when Chanyeol drops his gaze, because Chanyeol almost never does that with anyone, especially not Sehun. Confidence is the most striking something that comes through Chanyeol’s eyes.
“The fucking thing.” Chanyeol looks at the controller, his face carefully blank. Sehun doesn’t trust himself to look at Chanyeol, so he fiddles with the mute switch on his phone, flicking it on, off, on.
“Yeah. Grow up, y’know?” Sehun mumbles. Chanyeol frowns and his mouth falls open slightly in incredulity, turning to look at Sehun.
“Why are you suddenly all about being an adult, what the fuck?”
Sehun shrugs, still refusing to meet Chanyeol’s eyes. “Can’t fuck around your whole life, can you.”
“What the fuck,” Chanyeol says. Sehun can tell he’s hurt, because his voice is quiet, and he's not looking at Sehun anymore. Sehun can’t trust himself to talk, so he just keeps staring at his phone.
There’s a silence again, shorter this time, before Chanyeol picks the controller up slowly. “Okay.”
Sehun glances at him, but he’s looking at the screen, the game long over with Luigi smashed up on the side of the desert mountain. Chanyeol starts a new game and tosses the other controller at Sehun.
“New game?” Like nothing had happened, like they were still exactly the same, but nothing about the air between them is. Sehun picks the controller up and off they go.
Chanyeol still moves his entire body as he plays like he’s the actual vehicle, but the swearing is a lot less rapid-fire now, and he’s not careening his whole frame into Sehun’s side as if it would knock Mario off course similarly on the screen. Sehun doesn’t process anything besides the fact that everything is so different now, that it almost makes his skin crawl.
The game ends with Luigi tumbling all the way down the mountain, Chanyeol’s awkward laughter jarring in the room because Sehun can see it’s not reaching his eyes. Sehun swallows nervously.
“Yeah, uh - “
They speak at the same time, but Sehun shuts up almost immediately. Chanyeol looks at him; he can’t even breathe through the tension.
“I should probably go study for that test.” Chanyeol pushes himself to his feet abruptly. Sehun nods, still looking at his controller, watching Chanyeol’s feet.
Chanyeol leaves without a bye, the door clicking shut and it feels like all of the world is ringing in Sehun’s ears. This should have been the right decision, but why does he feel like complete shit?
He picks up a six-pack and heads straight for Jongin’s room, brushing past him and pitching headfirst onto the bed when Jongin pulls the door open. Jongin snorts and folds himself into his chair.
“You told him, huh,” Jongin asks, scrolling through his phone. Sehun groans and snatches up Jongin’s sheets to bury his face in them.
“I thought you said this wasn’t a big deal.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Was he an asshole about it? Do I need to beat him up for you?”
Sehun lifts his head from the sheets enough to glare at Jongin, then flops back down. He's really not in the mood to deal with Jongin's sass right now.
“Hey, seriously, I need to know whose side to be on, I still have a bunch of classes with him.”
“I’m friend-breaking up with you.”
“Two breakups in a day? That’s rough, man.”
Sehun hurls a can of beer at Jongin as hard as he can and is considerably disappointed when it meets his hands instead of his skull.
“Come on,” Jongin grins and pulls the tab on his can, “Tell Doc everything. I’ll break out the Grey Goose for you and you can sleep here after. Don’t puke, though.”
This time the can hits Jongin’s head with a satisfying thunk, but not even that makes the feeling like absolute shit go away.
"Boo." Sehun hears Chanyeol before he sees him come out of nowhere to wind his hands round Jongin from behind in the line in the cafeteria, scaring the shit out of Jongin. Jongin whips around to see Chanyeol and punches him hard in the arm, giving him a dirty look, then, like an afterthought, glances over at Sehun just as Chanyeol notices him.
"Hey." Sehun catches the recognition melting into awkwardness, like Chanyeol had remembered he was friends with Sehun before he remembered they'd been weird last night, in that single word.
"Hey." Sehun can't meet his eyes.
"S'up?" He can feel the weight of Chanyeol's eyes on him. He stares at the menu and pretends to be figuring out what to order.
"Nothing much," Sehun finally mumbles. Jongin glances at him, then at Chanyeol, who isn't saying anything. The buzz of the cafeteria is a deafening juxtaposition to the tense silence in their little party.
"Didn't you say you had a thing to go to," Jongin volunteers, shoving Chanyeol's shoulder a little. "You're going to be late."
Chanyeol reacts after a beat that's clear as day. "Yeah. Yeah..... band stuff. See you guys..... around."
"Ow," Jongin says indignantly when Sehun punches him as Chanyeol leaves, feeling all the fight go out of himself. "What the fuck, I saved your ass right there."
"Ugh," Sehun buries his face in Jongin's shoulder for a second, that dreadful feeling back. Jongin just pats him mildly sympathetically and pushes him away when it's his turn to order.
Sehun spends most of the week avoiding Chanyeol as conscientiously as he can, going out of his way to detour round the Physics building Chanyeol spends his time in, and not working in the library cafe with Jongin in case Chanyeol chances by. That first day after Awkward City featuring Jongin was okay, but then Sehun gets a text from Chanyeol several days later out of nowhere:
|chanyeol [10:29 AM] lol this dude conked out right in the middle of lecture and his head hit the table as prof was talking FUCKIN HILAR u shouldve seen|
It's nothing out of the ordinary, or would have been pre-Weirdness, but Sehun imagines Chanyeol's smile melting off his face when he remembers their thing now. Chanyeol always sends texts to Sehun on the impulse; they'd provided Sehun quite a bit of entertainment in his dull lectures. He can't say he won't miss them, if the awkwardness keeps up. He doesn't know how to reply, so he doesn't.
There's no second message, not even after an hour, like bastard whr r u or u loser that comes after Sehun's text silence. Jongin would tell him it's kinda pathetic that Sehun would want someone to call him a bastard that badly, and Sehun can only comfort himself in the fact that no one, not even Kris, gets as pathetic as Jongin does when he's trying to work up the courage to ask Kyungsoo out.
The next week is okay, maybe, Sehun actually acing a quiz because he'd spent all his time studying to distract himself. Jongin texts him that Chanyeol is whining constantly about Sehun's absence, and it bugs Sehun because Jongin knows Sehun well enough not to tell him about minor things like Chanyeol's whining - Jongin follows it up with a text: hes being a big ass baby rn but i think he misses you, but besides that, Sehun's doing okay. Maybe he can actually get used to this, he thinks, minus the part about Chanyeol not being his friend anymore.
But Chanyeol ruins things, as he is wont to do inevitably, when he texts Sehun. Of course.
|chanyeol [2:45 PM] hey i havent seen u in ages how r u|
Sehun isn't even sure what to say. He's never been great at confrontation, especially not with friends-with-benefits-turned-something, and especially not when that text is so different and carefully distant from what Chanyeol would usually have sent.
hey im sorry, i didnt know about the fucking around thing, Chanyeol texts again before Sehun can come up with a reply. Of course Chanyeol’s figured out it was a big deal for Sehun - Sehun should have known he would have eventually, but that doesn't make it any less annoying.
dw about it its cool, Sehun finally texts back. He's almost glad his not-coolness about it all doesn't come through in texts like it would have in person.
|chanyeol [4:06 PM] still bros, right???|
Sehun stares at his phone a little surprised. Chanyeol doesn't ask questions like that. He assumes things and bulldozes over the things he doesn't accept with his infectious smile. This time Sehun texts back quickly, softening a little by Chanyeol’s rare display of unconfidence.
|sehun [4:07 PM] yea loser|
chanyeol [4:07 PM] lol i got that essay to do this week but im bringing booze over sat ok
Sehun frowns, tightening his grip on his phone. That was how this whole shitstorm had started, mildly buzzed Chanyeol slipping his hand into Sehun's pants and a second round the morning after, which had been less awkward than Sehun'd expected. He trusts Chanyeol well enough not to try anything, but not himself, so he doesn't reply and looks into train tickets to go home to his parents' on Saturday instead.
Sehun spends the rest of the week avoiding Chanyeol’s texts to hang out, despite the fact that the university never gives that much homework ever, especially not the classes Sehun had specifically chosen for this very reason. He’s gone through all of the typical excuses, nearly having to use cramps in a fit of desperation on Friday, but Chanyeol can take a hint and sends him a ok tmrw then no backing out after Sehun’s recycled can’t, more hw. He’s not quite sure why he’s being like this, since he’d been the one who confirmed they were still friends, but he’s just gotten his heart ripped out and stomped on (albeit by himself) and if he wants to be childish and indulgent, he will, dammit.
you dropped off the face of the earth or what, Sehun gets a text from Minseok on the Monday he gets back from his parents’, having completely ignored Chanyeol’s texts throughout Saturday - he’ll figure out an explanation for Chanyeol when he comes to it.
|sehun [9:24 AM] went home for the weekend |
minseok [9:37 AM] lol chanyeol was looking for you, soo said he was out of it the whole week, u guys fell out or smth??
Sehun bites his lip. He'd done a lot of thinking over the weekend and nope, he isn't really over this whole losing Chanyeol thing like he’d wanted to be. He hadn’t realised that his absence was getting to be such a big deal for Chanyeol too, either. He decides to ask Jongin.
|sehun [9:40 AM] wats up w chanyeol???|
jongin [9:42 AM] lol whr the fuck were u, he asked me like 1000x if u were mad at him
jongin [9:43 AM] next time tell me so i can shut him up at 2am w an answer jfc
sehun [9:43 AM] i went home, was he mad???
jongin [9:44 AM] more like confused ig
jongin [9:44 AM] also uh idk if u should hear this now but he made this huge drunk confession lol puked all over me and told me he thinks he likes u
jongin [9:45 AM] “i think i’m in love w my best friend except idk why he’s mad at me” true words verbatim lol he should audition 4 shakespeare
|Sehun has to read the text three times and his first reaction, for some reason, is annoyance at not having gotten to see this live. The skepticism is there, though, and the hesitation. Mostly the hesitation, and a little bit of his heart warming in excitement.|
|jongin [10:03 AM] dude r u ok did u pass out |
sehun [10:07 AM] r u just taking the piss or what
jongin [10:08 AM] well thats what i heard through the slurring, u should talk to him
|Sehun doesn't leave his bed that day to think. If he's honest with himself, he's still hopelessly in love with Chanyeol, as Jongin would put it; Sehun prefers less dramatic descriptions, but whatever. He's not opposed to give them - whatever they are - a chance again, as long as Chanyeol means this, and he's suddenly taken with the realisation that he simply misses Chanyeol, all 1.85m of that dumbass.|
There's a knock on his door when evening rolls around, Sehun pulling it open without much thought because he'd expected Jongin. The relief on Chanyeol’s face is startlingly apparent when Sehun finds Chanyeol instead, but it falls to a bit of disconcertment when Chanyeol catches Sehun’s face pulled tight in surprise. He looks about as miserable as Sehun's been feeling this past week.
“Hi.” Chanyeol offers at last, offering a tentative smile.
“Hi.” Sehun can’t tear his eyes away from Chanyeol.
“Can... we. Talk?”
Sehun is faced with little room to refuse to this ambush on his feelings, so they wind up at the Starbucks near Sehun’s dorm. Chanyeol insists on buying the coffee and sets down a venti caramel macchiato, the only drink Sehun drinks at Starbucks, and sinks onto the armchair across him. Sehun stares at the cup, the Chanyeol written on the side.
“I’m sorry.” Chanyeol blurts. It’s a little loud over the buzz of the cafe and several people look over, Chanyeol colouring and darting his eyes between Sehun and the table. Sehun tries not to bristle, because his apology can’t mean anything, not at this point.
“You don’t even know what you’re apologising for.”
“Well.” Chanyeol blinks, then looks down at his lap. “If it’ll make us not awkward anymore then whatever.”
Sehun rolls his eyes. “Moron.”
Chanyeol doesn’t flick his forehead in retaliation, unlike how Sehun had expected him to, but then again he hasn’t really been doing this for quite a while. “But really, though, I missed you?” Chanyeol sounds a little hesitant, but Sehun doesn’t look up. “Not the fucking thing, but like. You.”
Sehun’s ears are on fire, they must be. I think I’m in love with my best friend except I don’t know why he’s mad at me sounds in his head in Chanyeol’s voice. Chanyeol doesn’t say anything for a long time, just watches Sehun watch his lap.
“Minseok said you went home for the weekend.”
It’s not even funny anymore, this time. Sehun rolls his eyes again. “Just shut up with those apologies.” He looks up to catch Chanyeol bowing his head and staring at the table, and it’s a long awkward silence again.
“I didn’t know you thought the fucking around with me thing was a big deal.” Chanyeol says, glancing up at Sehun warily. “Sorry.” This one comes out as almost a whisper, barely carrying over the whirr of the coffee machine at the counter.
Sehun blinks down into his caramel macchiato, the cap that Chanyeol had opened because Sehun doesn’t like hot coffee on the table. “You don’t owe me an apology for that,” he mumbles because it’s true, though he doesn’t really feel this way - he’d probably be happier if Chanyeol fell to his knees and started groveling. Jongin would be proud of him being a mature adult.
Chanyeol’s silent for a while, fiddling with the zipper on his jacket and accidentally pinching his finger with it before jerking it out, swearing under his breath. Sehun bites back a snort.
“I didn’t know I thought that too,” Chanyeol says, a reluctant, grudging look on his face a split second after, like he’d said that on impulse and was almost regretting it. Sehun feels the blood roar in his ears again, his chest thrumming almost as if in biological reaction. Their table is quiet for a long time, but it feels less awkward than before.
“I heard from Jongin,” Sehun finally volunteers. “About you getting drunk and puking over him.”
Chanyeol’s eyes dart up to meet Sehun’s eyes as he lifts his head - this is the first time Sehun has seen anything that could be construed as embarrassment on Chanyeol’s face. His cheeks are a little pink and he keeps blinking, looking anywhere but at Sehun.
“Yeah, well.” Chanyeol shrugs, slumping back into the armchair. “At least I didn’t say.... what I said to your face.”
It’s a struggle for Sehun to keep his smile in rein. They sit there for the longest time, Sehun looking out of the window trying not to smile and Chanyeol gulping his coffee, but Sehun’s not going to cave - he’s better at keeping silent than Chanyeol is.
“Hey.” Chanyeol blurts finally, looking reluctant. “You wanna get dinner with me later? No funny business, just, y’know.”
Sehun disguises his choke as a snort. “Are you asking me out?”
Chanyeol considers this for a while, looking sort of really adorable. “Yeah.”
He says it so matter-of-factly, no obnoxious, teasing grin—simply answering Sehun’s question. Sehun has to take his lip in his teeth for a while.
“Like, a date?” he presses, careful not to let his smile show. Chanyeol reaches over and flicks his forehead.
“Yeah, a candlelight dinner,” Chanyeol says with more sarcasm than necessary, but his eyes are bright. Sehun kicks him under the table smiling fit to burst.